Ever heard this one ?

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Bone
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Ever heard this one ?

Bericht door Bone » wo mar 12, 2008 9:28 am

An expert on the supernatural is giving a Halloween lecture on ghosts at a large municipal auditorium.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 people raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?" About 40 people raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 people raise their hands.
Next he asks, "Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" And three people raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one further question ... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?
Way in the back, this biker named Snake raises his hand.
The expert takes off his glasses, and says, "Sir, in all the years I've been giving this lecture; no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The big biker gets out of his seat and with a nod and a grin, begins to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the expert says, "Now, sir, please tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
And the biker replied, "Ghosts? Shit!!! From way back there I thought you said, 'Goats'!!"
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A small Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very "in the mood", and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Bubba, a biker and part-time grounds keeper, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages.
Bubba, like most bikers, had little education, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.
So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Bubba was approached with a proposition.
Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for £100?
Bubba showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Bubba announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this."
The park administrators quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Bubba, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the £100."
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A guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge biker standing next to him.
The biker sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says,
"7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each and Turner Brown".
The little guy just faints dead away and falls to the floor.
The biker kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him.
He asks, "Are you Ok??"
In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"
The biker says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
"I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown."
The little guy said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around'"
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A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her,
"What's the special of the day Chilli," she says, "but the biker next to you got the last bowl."
The man says he'll just have coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch it.
As he waited, he noticed the biker next to him was eating a full lunch and the bowl of chilli remained uneaten." Are you going to eat your chilli?" he asked."
No, help yourself," replied the biker.
The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chilli.
When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chilli he had just eaten back into the bowl.
The Biker sitting next to him says, "Yeah, that's as far as I got, too."
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When I was young I used to pray for a Harley.
Then I realised that God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a Harley and prayed for forgiveness


Bone :wink:
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RoadWarrior
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Bericht door RoadWarrior » wo mar 12, 2008 1:58 pm

;D
CHROME won't get you home.

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